Meal planning is NOT my thing. I am not a foodie. I’ve been married for 15 years and have struggled just as long to get dinner on the table every night. I failed intensely as a newlywed in law school. We got married and Ryan asked, “So, what’s for dinner?” My response, “I don’t know. I’m busy. Find something.” Ouch. NOT fascinating. NOT biblical. NOT how a Catholic wife should answer her husband.
Once I became pregnant in 2010 with Chloe, I declared “I have 9 months to figure out how to cook!” but I was also working full-time as a law clerk and by the time I got home, most nights I just didn’t care. Poor Ryan …
Well, rather than dwell on my sordid past and failures with meals, lets fast-forward to 2022! I mean, I can start again at 38, right? I will say that NOW I do get dinner on the table *almost* every night. When I meal plan, it’s better. But here’s the thing:
Meal planning hurts my brain!
I mean, legit hurts it. It’s HARD. It is overwhelming. I get lost in recipes. I get overwhelmed with grocery lists. I can read case law but ask me to set up 7 dinners and it’s like I’m asked to figure out some intense math question. So many Sundays I have sat determined to “figure it out”. I’ve listened to countless podcasts, read how the “naturals” do it, asked all of my friends, and finally ordered Marley Spoon (which was actually a God-send, see below) and still felt lost most days.
Germany, Marley Spoon and Finding My Inner Chef
After moving to Germany and settling in, I was faced with the strange fact that most of my go-to recipes were Mexican. But I’m in Germany. I did discover a small end-cap at the nearest local store, but that was months after moving in. The Commissary is about 35 minutes away and German driving is intense and anxiety-provoking, so for a long time this local store was my option, and it was still about 10 minutes away, down an intensely narrow mountain road where the Germans drive 40 miles an hour and it’s by God’s grace alone there aren’t accidents daily.
I decided to order Marley Spoon. The recipes came in German. It took a bit of work to translate and I started every dinner at 4pm because we’re used to eating between 5-5:30 and these recipes were a bit intense, especially with the lack of English. Yet, the nights that I cooked with Marley Spoon I produced meals I was proud of! They tasted good. They were unique. I felt like I could actually cook! The kids were more skeptical but Ryan was pleased, and for the first time I realized how truly important it was to him and our marriage that I provided yummy dinners. It’s certainly makes him feel loved.
The “Ah Ha!” Moment for Me
I did end up cancelling Marley Spoon after a few months. I had a bunch of recipes I said I would make again (but haven’t). Items were arriving damaged – most of the time my box was upside down upon delivery – and I decided I had finally figured out how to shop at the Commissary: I sent Ryan.
While hunting once again for a “how to meal plan” I discovered The Lazy Genius. Don’t let her name deter you. Her slogan is “Be lazy about the things that don’t matter so you can spend time on the things that do, ” or something like that. The episode that really changed my perspective was:
#97: One Simple Step That Changed Meal Planning Forever.
This episode encourages you to come up with a list of recipes that you can do without using brain power – it’s so easy that you don’t even need to think. You just grab the items and go. It doesn’t mean it can’t be complicated – it’s just easy to you. The other requirement is that your family also enjoys it for the most part (picky eaters don’t get a vote).
This one podcast, this one idea, gave me tremendous confidence that I could meal plan. That I could get dinner on the table each night. That is didn’t have to be complicated. It opened up a bunch of new ideas: stocking for my recipes, adding one new recipe a week max, repeating recipes, and so much more.
Final Thoughts
If you struggle with meal planning, especially as a Catholic wife, ask God for help. Ask Him for the grace to persevere, to find shortcuts, to develop enough know-how in the kitchen to feel confident that you can provide your family and others with meals.
If you are not a foodie, see it as a blessing. You likely don’t struggle with gluttony. You are able to fast easier. It’s definitely a grace from God to be detached from food. Yet, God gave us a vocation and that vocation includes warm, yummy, mostly wholesome meals cooked by a loving mother.
My next blog post on this subject will be “how to love your kitchen” so keep your eyes open for that one.
I remember you struggling with this in the past. Yes! Make a list of simple recipes you and your family like and rotate. You’ll learn how to make them and what shortcuts to use (ie chopped onions and bell peppers in the freezer)❤️
Yes! I know, we have talked about this so often. I finally got to a place where I’ve come up with about 10 or so recipes I can make without thinking about it. It’s really about having those ingredients always around and then adding in recipes once in a while that require a bit more brain work. It’s just tricky finding meals I like too! haha. But I’ve dropped any “food rules” so if I want pasta, we eat pasta. If I want rice, we eat rice. Everyone’s happier that I have something on the table.
Well done Laura! it’s wonderful to see you getting excited about cooking. We’ll be all around to yours for dinner yet! This is a great post. As you know, I don’t sttuggle with cooking….but then I have the problem you mentioned…. I have to fight the urge to eat! I love bread and making bread and the smell of homemade bread… But I can’t eat bread all day as I’m struggling to get my weight down too. God bless you Laura and thank you for all you share with us 😊 🙏
Well done Laura! it’s wonderful to see you getting excited about cooking. We’ll be all around to yours for dinner yet! This is a great post. As you know, I don’t sttuggle with cooking….but then I have the problem you mentioned…. I have to fight the urge to eat! I love bread and making bread and the smell of homemade bread… But I can’t eat bread all day as I’m struggling to get my weight down too. God bless you Laura and thank you for all you share with us 😊 🙏
Hi, Laura,
You got to the heart of things, it seems! Make warm food, most nights, to show love, and focus on your own tastes and aptitudes!
What did you mean with this sentence in your blog post? “ I did discover a small end-cap at the nearest local store,…”. What is an end-cap, please?
You will develop as a cook over the years. After living overseas for years, old friends find that I am a much better cook than when I left.
One hint. Spend time with a creative cook in their kitchen on more than a few occasions. Just watching, with a mug of tea in your hands, while you converse, will bring you along without too much intention. I had a great friend in Amsterdam who could take this and that out of her fridge and freezer in some great but simple combinations. Her looseness kick-started my own confidence.
Second hint. Let inspiration find you a new recipe. By watching Shtisel on Netflix, I had the urge to make noodle kugel. Eating the sour cream in that dish reminded me how much we like sour cream in our recipes. So then my recipes expanded into more noodle dishes with meat and sour cream, including beef, and a cabbage and Polish sausage soup with sour cream stirred in at the end. Sour cream became a thing in menus.
Long post, sorry!
Though I am sure we would love to hear What Laura Likes…to cook! 😉