God or the World: You Must Choose One This Advent

The other day I was listening to St. John Vianney’s sermon about our hearts and how they cannot be divided.  Therefore, we can only love one: God or the world.  He then described the only three types of people that exist on earth: those who choose the world, those who choose God, and those who try to choose both God and the world.  

 

Most of us, including myself, claim to choose God and “shun” the world, yet let’s be honest?  Do we really?  

 

The upcoming holidays are a perfect time to examine our hearts. What does it look like to love God alone in this holiday season?  And what do most of us do?  

 

I think it would be helpful to juxtapose what the world tells us versus what God tell us.

 

The world during Advent

 

 

• To be a good mother, you must bake many cookies
• To be a good mother, you must take your children to the Christmas lights
• To be a good mother, you must sprinkle special Christmas dust on everything
• To be a good neighbor, friend, relative, you must buy, buy buy because that is not only expected but the only acceptable way to show love during the holidays
• If you are not exhausted by Christmas morning, you did not “do” the season well
• To be a good mother/father, the house must be decorated, constantly cozy and warm, full of merriment, hot chocolate, and Christmas movies

I could go on and on but since we’re all adults here, you’ve likely internalized enough lies to fill in the rest of the list.  Because that’s what these are: they are lies.  And these lies make us harried, overwhelmed, fretful, anxious, and not at all the wife or mother we dream of being.  More importantly, they pull us away from the true reason we have Advent and Christmas, that is, if we get too wrapped up in it all.

 

Now, I love hot chocolate and a good Christmas movie, don’t get me wrong.  Yet, once it becomes a “should” on our internal list, God is not given room to move in these special moments.

 

What does God ask of us this Advent season?

 

• To rest
• To reflect
• To slow down 
• To pray
• To open our hearts to prepare for His coming, both at Christmas and when He will come again
• To adjust our life so that it is ready for that moment 

It’s hard to choose God during the Advent and Christmas season, especially as a Catholic.  For starters, Advent is a mini-Lent.  It’s not really the time to bake millions of cookies and gorge on chocolate and run around frantically trying to soak in all of the events.  It’s a time of prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  It’s our New Year.  We can sit down and reflect over the past twelve months (including last Advent) and see where we have succeeded in loving God and where we have sadly chosen the world, letting our hearts be divided.  

 

 

And then, once the Christmas season is upon us (starting at sundown on Christmas Eve and lasting at least through the Epiphany, if not Candlemas), that is our time for celebration, joy, feasting.  

 

 

It feels funny.  You may have to turn off all social media, because the world is going to start dieting, making “New Years Resolutions” and hyper-focusing on minimizing after a season of excess.  It’s like the pendulum swings hard the other way.

 

This is not our way, our walk, our journey.  We do not embrace the pendulum, which on both sides is intemperance.  Rather, we walk our quiet, pensive, sweet Advent path and then embrace our feasting, joy, and excitement at the coming of Our Savior!

 

Next steps for a God-centered Advent

 

So (and this message is for me as much as it is for you) first I want you to take a deep breath and in the exhale, let go of ALL of the expectations you have built up for this coming season.  Just imagine they’re all gone.  Next, with a blank piece of paper, write down how you want to feel on Christmas Eve, looking back over the last four weeks.  Third, I want you to write down words that will help you achieve that.  Words like prayer, calm, background music, candles, lights, whatever it is that God is telling you will help you (because each Advent is so individual!).  Fourth, put in writing concrete ways to help make that happen.  

 

There’s a lot more I could write.  I could share about the Advent season where Neil was born and in the NICU.  I could share the multiple Advent seasons where Ryan was away in training or overseas.  The greatest gift we can give our family is to not have a divided heart this holiday season.  Instead, as we do all things for God and in His timing, accepting passively what He sends us (like that unexpected cold that cancels the “fun”) and actively doing what He asks you to do.  In the quiet you will hear His voice. 

 

Look away

 

The other day, for the first time in probably a year, I caught myself scrolling Facebook.  And immediately the anxiety and overwhelm took over.  I wasn’t doing enough!  My kids weren’t experiencing enough!  Look at what this other family was doing!  I’m wasting time!  We’re not working hard enough! Blah blah blah.  Satan had me good there for a second.  And then, thanks be to God, I stepped back and heard St. John Vianney’s words.  I am enough for the Lord, as long as I keep my eyes on Him. 

 

We will never give our kids the perfect holiday season in the world’s standards.  As much as any one person does, they have ten things left undone and those ten haunt them.  So, work through the steps I have laid out for you and be thoughtful this Advent, thoughtful about God.  And perhaps unplug from social media altogether, since even good-meaning Catholics can make us feel “less than” as they seem to be doing “all the things” for their children.  I know that’s how it makes me feel.

 

Keep an eye out for the next blog post with Advent devotional options.  For now, you can look over what I shared last year.  

 

PS – A great podcast for Catholic encouragement this Advent season is Made For Greatness’s Advent episode from a couple years ago.